Mixed Blessings

This week has been a week of looking towards various events.  At the beginning of the week I had a couple of appointments with the surgery's nurse to check my blood pressure and also to take a blood test to check my cholesterol level, any signs of diabetes and other necessary checks.  That's one I don't particularly like because it has to be done while fasting so from about 8 pm the evening before until after the blood has been extracted, it's a case of no food and only a little water if you're thirsty.  That means no hot chocolate before bed and no putting the kettle on for coffee when I get up!  

Although it doesn't really bother me too much, I don't look forward to being jabbed in the arm with a hypodermic needle, particularly as my blood vessels never seem willing to let my blood leave my body.  The nurse was very good and managed on only the second jab.  The results came back that I am 'normal'.  (For those who question the expression they were the doctor's words, not mine.)  Later this morning I have to go back to the surgery to get my yearly flu jab - another needle. 

I also had word this week about the date for my eye operation to remove the cataract from my right eye, as that's the worst of the two.  Later I hope to get the other eye done.  Then, so they tell me, I should be able to see without my spectacles, something I haven't been able to do for about 35 years.  At least I should be able to tell which bus is coming before it actually gets up to me.  Everyone who has had this operation tells me that it's 'a doddle'; but I still feel a bit apprehensive.

Brothers Martin (right) and Diego (left) on a previous visit

On the positive side my son Martin and daughter-in-law Lisa are visiting us this weekend.  It's always good to be able to spend time all together as a family and something we have looked forward to with pleasure.  To crown it all today sees the return of Dr Who on our television screens.  Any who regularly read my blog or who know me know that in our house we are avid Dr Who fans and have been for years.  I remember seeing the very first episode in the 60s.  So this week has been a mixture of looking forward to things, some really pleasurable and others not so much but still necessary.  

Lisa and me on a previous visit.

The thing is that the check-ups and jabs and operations, although not very pleasant at the time are really for my own good and will prove beneficial to me in the long term.  In life we can't have everything we like all the time.  Some people seem to be of the opinion that if you conform to certain religious practices, then somehow you are protected from unpleasantness in your life.  I'm sorry to disappoint those people .  Life is just not like that.  We have to take the rough with the smooth.  The best way is to accept the good things and enjoy every minute, savouring the pleasure so we have good memories for the future while accepting the not so good experiences knowing that they serve to make us stronger, wiser and more capable to cope with life.  Nothing lasts for ever so it's best to accept the not so pleasant things, knowing that there will be a time when they will be over and we will feel the benefit but remember to enjoy every minute of the good times while they are here.  Mixed blessings.

  

Don't Hold Your Breath

The phrase 'Don't hold your breath' as we know, refers to the fact that something is very unlikely to happen.  We shouldn't expect a certain result or we will probably be disappointed.  The truth is that holding your breath can, in extreme cases, be quite dangerous.  I know someone who as a young child, used to hold his breath when he cried.  This was a cause of constant concern for his parents.
Whenever he started to cry, they had to watch him to make sure that within a few seconds at most he would start breathing again.  Otherwise they would need to take some action to make him stop holding his breath.  Holding your breath like this could cause serious physical harm.

Breathing is something we do without even thinking.  We breathe in fresh air so that oxygen can be extracted from it by the lungs and pumped around our bodies through our blood stream.  The air is made up of many things but mainly oxygen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide.  The lungs processing this air we have just breathed in, as well as extracting the oxygen that our body needs to stay alive, also expels the unwanted carbon dioxide as we breathe out.  So, no matter what we are doing, our bodies perform the act of breathing in and out, taking in what we need and expelling what our bodies reject.  It's the same with eating.  We need to feed our bodies with energy but with everything we eat there is some waste that must be expelled in order to remain healthy.


We take into our lives so much, not only in the daily, physical bodily functions that keep us alive but in the things that we acquire.  The trouble is that we humans have a habit of hoarding stuff, 'holding our breath' as it were with material things.  Those who have moved house will know just how much we accumulate without even realising it.  Some people move into a bigger house so they can have more room to stash their accumulated stuff -  and then get more.  It would probably be cheaper to 'breathe' with our material wealth and as we take in more maybe we should get rid of stuff that we no longer need or use.  Some things might have been useful at one time but are no longer necessary.  And yet we hold on to them! 

Saddest of all though is when people hold on to negative emotions or memories.  Holding onto to such feelings can really be harmful to our spirits.  If something is no longer needed, breathe it out or you run the risk of becoming hurt and damaged.  We want to be blessed by God and often experience such blessing but at the same time seem unwilling to let go and breathe out the negative resentments, attitudes, disappointments and grudges.  Holding your breath can be harmful, physically, materially, emotionally and spiritually.  Breathe in the fresh air of God but don't forget to breathe out what you no longer need or what negatively affects your spirit.  You'll feel better for it.    

Change Course Of Action

The other day traveling home on the bus, we reached one of the main roundabouts in town.On the way around there were four cars that had stopped.  Apparently one car had changed lanes suddenly and bumped into another car causing a literal knock-on effect with the cars that followed.  Hence four cars all blocking the roundabout causing mayhem with the traffic.There didn't seem to be anyone hurt but a few irate drivers getting out of their vehicles to protest and look at the damage and take down insurance details.  No doubt for some it will mean a trip to the mechanic at the garage to sort out any problems that might have been caused and maybe a little paint job and the cars will look like new again.


I remember when I was a driver, how every year I would take the car to my friend at his garage in order for him to sort out any problems in order to get it through its MOT.  Wear and tear generally means that there was something to be done in order to get the car up to proper working order and efficiency.  The thing is as with most things, we can make do and mend for a while but there comes a time when we can't really fix the problems any more and things need to be replaced.  There is a time for more drastic action to be taken, when continuing with the same thing doesn't work any more.


This week I had my annual check up at the optician's.  I go every year.  A bit like an optical MOT.  I know that my eyes have gradually been getting worse over the past number of years because of cataracts.  That's partly the reason why I don't drive anymore.  There were all the usual procedures - shining a bright light and looking into my eyes or rather right through my eyes, how far down the board can you read?, can you see more clearly with this lens than with that lens etc etc etc.  The verdict eventually, after getting a second opinion from a more senior optician, was that it was not worth giving me glasses with new lenses as really I had reached the point that the best option was to have eye surgery to remove the cataracts that were causing the bad eyesight.  



There are occasions when surgery would seem a rather daunting prospect but in this case it was what I was hoping for.  There comes a time when trying to make the best of a situation becomes tiresome.  We just want a solution.  We want it sorted once and for all.  And after a number of years of having a change of prescription for my spectacles and having some improvement for a few months before it eventually got worse ... again...  it was kind of a relief to know that now at last there was going to be a solution.  How often do we just plod on in life, doing the same thing, sometimes reviving things a bit and then keep going when maybe it's time for a more drastic solution?  How often do we wonder, 'What's the point?  Why do I keep on doing this, going there, supporting that?  Nothing really changes.  Still the same old thing.when I yearn for more.  If things just aren't working any more then maybe it's time for something different.  Be brave, it'll be worth it.
   

Efficient/Effective?

This week Vicky Beeching used a quote on Twitter that was originally written by Peter Drucker, an Austrian born American management consultant.  He has been described as the 'founder of modern management'. The quote was: 'Efficiency is doing things right.  Effectiveness is doing the right things.'  That set me thinking.  It's great to be efficient.  It gets the job done and done well.  But it is imperative that the things that are done are the right things.  You can be very efficient at doing the wrong things.  So being efficient in itself is not necessarily good.


Most of this past week in our home we have had the pleasure of the company of a friend from Latvia.  We have had some very interesting conversations about many things.  We got onto the subject of people going to other countries within the church setup on particular missions.  We both know of people who have gone with a particular project or 'programme' that they intended to put into practice, as though you can programme God. How often do we have plans and ask God to bless our plans when often they are not God's plans at all?  I have known people who have been very organised and efficient but not necessarily doing the right things.  They arrive full of what they are going to do, set up this meeting and that project and within 2 to 3 years they will have so many converts and will expand to other places when maybe it would be better to identify with the people and place where they intend to work, get to know the real situation and circumstances and what is actually needed.  I also read this week about a story of helping those who need help as opposed to those that we think need our help.  There are parts of the world where, instead of organising meetings and setting up Bible classes and teaching programmes, what is really needed is tools to dig a well to save the women from having to walk miles to get a bucket of water.  Instead of trying to explain the resurrection it would be more helpful to give seeds or animals or maybe teach them methods of agriculture and business so the people could feed and fend for themselves.  I can't help feeling that much of the work is in order to promote the public standing of the group, charity or denomination that is carrying out the missions.  It often seems to be more about adding numbers to their membership or following than sharing the Good News in practical ways.  

We can be very efficient in bringing plans to fruition and getting the job done but if we are asking the wrong questions, if we are focusing on the wrong problem, the seriousness of the situation will just continue and get worse.  We need to address the cause of problems in order to be effective in bringing about a solution.  When we go to the doctor with a health problem, we often get some medication.  If the problem continues then often a deeper, more intense and detailed study by xray, scan or tests needs to be carried out in order to identify the underlying cause of the problem.  It's no use taking painkillers if the real problem is a broken leg.  The painkillers will alleviate the pain for a while but unless the broken leg is mended, the problem will still exist and cause more pain and problems.  Sometimes we might think that we are helping a situation but when we take a closer, more in-depth look at the situation we discover that the real need is something that is not really being addressed.  And so the problem continues.  Our carefully thought-out plans and efficiency will get some sort of result but the real problems are not addressed and the situation does not change in spite of all our efforts.  


It reminds me of the words of Helder Camara, the Brazilian Archbishop who was assassinated in 1999 when he said, 'When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist'.  We can be very efficient but unless we address the root causes of problems and ask the right questions we will never be effective in showing God's love as Jesus taught.  Richard Rohr recently in his daily meditations when referring to the Desert Fathers and Mothers said that for them 'faith was first a lifestyle before it was a belief system'.  The first followers of Jesus were known as People of the Way (a way of living) before they were known as people who followed a belief system.  Maybe it's time to rethink why we do what we do.  Are we just efficient or are we effective?    

Growing Diversity

This week we have enjoyed some lovely spring weather here in the south west of England.  At last I have been able to get out into the garden and get things growing again.  I have managed to sow quite a few different vegetables and planted some fresh flowers.  We are in no way self sufficient in providing and growing our own food.  Space and personal physical energy don't allow for this but it is good to be able to eat something that you've grown yourself.  It is so much healthier when you know that they haven't been doused in chemicals or somehow force fed to produce perfect-looking produce.  Because they are fresher of course they are tastier.  I plant the flowers, partly because I like to see nice flowers in a garden and partly to encourage the bees and butterflies necessary in the pollination of other plants that we eat.  I try to grow a variety as it looks more interesting and, as far as food is concerned, is better for us.  I often think of the Israelites during the Exodus from Egypt and really sympathize with them.  I mean, what must it be like to have to eat manna and quails every day.  They wandered in the desert for 40 years.  And we complain if we have the same thing twice in two weeks!  In the 21st century we know that a variety of food is not only pleasing to the palate but necessary for health reasons.  A good variety gives us a balanced and nutritious diet that leads to good health.  Too much of one thing and not enough of something else is not good for us.  It can create an imbalance within our bodies and leaves us lacking in some nutrient.

I do like to see pictures of a snowdrop or bluebell wood but when it comes to the garden of a house I have to admit that having only one type of flower does not appeal to me.  In fact most gardens seem to grow different types of flowers as well as different colours to put on a display.  A walk through a park is more enjoyable if there are displays of different flowers, bushes and trees and when we buy a bunch of flowers to put in a vase, more often than not we choose a bunch that has more than one colour or at least one colour plus greenery.  So in food and in plants we like and need diversity.



And so I ponder ... ... why, oh why can we not accept this in society?  We say that we accept people being different but there is a big difference between tolerance and acceptance.  We might tolerate those who express themselves differently as long as they stay over there out of my way.  Those who have a different culture, a different way of living, a different way of expressing their beliefs, a different way of loving are so often made to feel outsiders so that they huddle together in their own isolated communities and not accepted in general society.  We have so much to learn from God's creation.  The rose doesn't say that he is better and nicer looking than the daisy and so more important.  They are both as important and beautiful as the other in their own way and circumstances.  Someone once remarked, 'Our differences combine to create meaning and beauty.'   God created all things diverse, not to compete against each other but to complement each other and together to make a rich world beneficial to all.  Diversity is healthy and pleasurable.  That is how God designed it.  We need to learn to live together in harmony and diversity in order to really express God's intention for our world.

Roots

This week has seen the return of a TV programme that I really enjoy watching - 'Who Do You Think You Are?  For those who don't know, it traces the ancestry of celebrities and uncovers some very interesting and sometimes unusual and hitherto unknown facts.  There are always surprises and often tears as the stories unfold about their forbears.  Sometimes the celebrities begin to understand just why they are, feel and do as they do as they clarify some mystery from the past.  A couple of years ago I decided to trace my ancestors on both sides of the family, right back to the 1700s.  I remember as a child that two of my uncles had a shoe repair shop in our local town and I used to love to go and watch them mend the shoes and breathe in the smell of fresh leather.  I was told that the shop originally belonged to my paternal grandfather but looking further into the family history I discovered that there had been bootmakers in the family since the early 1800s, the business having been handed down from father to son over several generations.  The roots of the shoemaking business lay way back in the roots of our family history.

When I am weeding in the garden, I prefer to dig the weeds up by the roots in order to get rid of them instead of spraying them with chemicals all the time.  Occasionally though that is not so easy, on the paths and the front drive where you can't really dig them up.  The alternative is to get some weedkiller and spray them and let the chemicals do their work.  The best ones of course are the ones that you spray on the leaves of the weed and the chemicals go to work reaching right down to the roots underneath the ground.  Otherwise the weed seems to die but then comes back again as the roots go on feeding the plant.  To be effective, you have to get to the roots.

A close relative of mine has recently been in hospital and undergone quite a big operation.  She had been in a great deal of pain for a long time, months becoming years.  She has taken pain relief to relieve the symptoms until eventually the pain was becoming so bad she was sent to see a specialist at the hospital.  Various tests and scans were done in order to look deeper and ascertain the real cause of the problem.  Eventually the day came and she went to the hospital, a bit nervous but really having reached the point of just wanting the pain to go away.  After a time of recuperation she is now well on the mend but more importantly is without the constant pain that she had to put up with for so long before.  Once the specialist was able to get to the root of her problem, then the situation could be dealt with effectively.

The trouble I find in life is that too often we concentrate all our efforts on the symptoms that a problem produces.  A few decades ago, people weren't so eager to visit a psychiatrist or counselor to talk through problems in case they were thought by others to be a little deranged.  In fact such professionals were sometimes considered a bit suspect and often referred to in a rather derisory way as 'shrinks'.  Nowadays we understand that they saw the importance of going back in order to dig deep and find the root cause of a problem.  This often turned out to be not a physical problem at all but some hurt, fear or sense of inadequacy or exclusion or maybe loneliness, things that are hidden so deeply inside that others are not aware of itheir existence.  We think that we are sorting out a problem when the real problem is something quite different, hidden and not obvious until we delve deeper.

I feel that so many problems in the world, on both an individual and group level, whether that be family, friends, tribes or nations, could be solved if only we really addressed the root of the problem.  We waste so much time and effort treating and reacting to the symptoms when the real problem is still there often festering underneath so that the problem we think we have dealt with crops up again and again.  So often we ask the wrong questions!  There is no point in doctoring and treating the hurt and pain if we don't deal with the root cause of that pain and hurt.  Jesus knew that very well when he told the crippled man that his sins were forgiven.  He then told him to get and walk.  He knew that the man was concerned that his physical limitations were because of some sin.  He needed to know that God had dealt with that problem.  People are hurting and in pain and we waste time on superficial symptoms instead of really dealing with their root point of need and giving them the help they're silently crying out for.  Let's not waste time looking at the outside, the symptoms, the appearance of a situation but go to the roots and see where the help is really needed.
  

Refocusing

It was an easy job so I thought I would just go ahead and do it myself instead of bothering my son, asking him to do it.  All I had to do was to screw a couple of hooks behind the door to hang things on.  Simple!  I had the necessary electric tool ready and charged.  I marked the spot where I had to put the screw and made a small hole to make sure it didn't slip.  As I started screwing I discovered it wouldn't go in properly.  'I don't believe this!' I murmured under my breath.  I thought it was going to be so easy.  In the end I had to go and seek the help of my son.  He took one look and said 'You've got it on the wrong setting.  You've set it for drilling not for screwing.  No wonder it won't go in.'  Two minutes later it was done - by my son.  Please don't laugh, after all I am a woman and getting on in years.  Anyway, how was I to know that the thing had different settings?  I learnt something new that day!

Last week I had my yearly check-up at the optician's.  I knew my eyesight had deteriorated somewhat.  The clue was in the fact that I struggle to read the subtitles when the news is on the television and when I need to wait for the bus to be quite close before I can see which number it is and where it's going.  So the result was no surprise.  The young man was very kind and tried various lenses until I could read the letters on the screen clearly.  He was very helpful and explained the problem - the cataracts are obviously gradually getting worse but as yet it is possible to get lenses that will help.  So later today I go back to collect my new glasses.  What joy it will be to be able to make things out more clearly and at a greater distance once again, for a while at least. 
   
Another encounter I had was with someone who had visited a dietitian to get some help with losing a bit of excess weight.  She had always considered herself to be pretty healthy and always ate what she thought was a very healthy diet.  That is until the dietitian began explaining just where she had been going wrong and how the body reacts to different types of food.  She left the appointment quite humbled and said that after all these years of doing things a certain way she was now going to have to rethink and refocus her attention on other elements of her diet that until now she had considered ok.

All in all, it has been a week of refocusing and rethinking, learning and readjusting.  Things change and we have to change with the situation at hand.  We cannot always go on doing things in the same old way just because 'we've always done it that way' as I was once informed as a questioning child.  It has been said that the Nautilus begins life in a small shell but as it grows it doesn't have enough room and so it builds another bit of shell, another new compartment and moves out of the old, once comfortable place into the new part until it becomes too big for that part.  And so it goes on until it becomes quite large.  The different segments can be clearly seen around the shell of the Nautilus.  What a lesson - we need to keep learning and growing but also often this entails moving on from where we were.  We can't always remain static or we either stunt our growth or die.  We need regular check-ups and then refocus and move on, adjusting to the new situation in hand. 

I am not in the same place spiritually as I was a few years ago.  I have learnt more and moved on.  It's not about turning our backs on the past.  The nautilus carries its past around with it.  Our past is a reminder of where we've come from and what has made us the people we now are.  We look at our past but shouldn't live in it.  It was right for us at that time and in that situation so we need to be thankful for the past and how it has led us to the point where we are today.  It should be a progression on to something new and better.  In our spiritual lives, if we find ourselves in a situation where nothing has changed, then maybe we need to ask ourselves if we need a check-up, learn something new, refocus or do things differently.  If not, then there could be a danger that we might be just going through the motions while we are actually dying on the inside.  We are never too old to learn something new, no matter how long we may have been a Christian.  It is good to re-examine what we do - maybe what we thought was ok, no longer serves us well.   God is much bigger than any human understanding and the nature of his creation is to keep evolving and moving.

What a harvest!

I have been inspired this week by two particular blogs.  The first by Sarah who writes about harvest; how she remembers celebrating the harvest festival in her post 'Harvest in a tin' and asks how can we relate to it today?  The second was by a lady called Jamie who considers how we often seem to be thinking that things will be 'Better when'.  We seem to pin our hopes in the future instead of enjoying the present.


It's true, as Sarah says, that most of us who live in towns don't really relate to harvest as being produce that we have nurtured from seed.  How many can truthfully say 'we plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the land'?  I know my friends Jo and Ian in Latvia can but most of us reading this won't.  Many have moved away from the traditional celebration with fruit and vegetables displayed on a long table.  In modern times many congregations opt to bring tinned food for the celebration so that it can later be given to food banks and help the homeless and those who are unable to provide for their families.  Financially things are not as we would like and we need to count our pennies more than ever.  We no longer have the luxury of eating out occasionally but on the other hand we have never gone without a meal or needed help from a food bank, not like many others in the UK and in other parts of the world.  And so at this harvest time I thank God for His continual provision.

We are hearing much in the media these days about the National Health Service.  The great thing is that it is free at the point of need.  Ok, you may say that nothing is free; everything must be paid for at some point by someone.  It is true of course that all my working life, I like all other workers in Britain, have put my required share into the system each month.  While I worked I was fortunate in my health so didn't need to use the NHS as much as some people might - although I cannot say that I never went to the doctor's!  But now in my more senior years I do need regular medication to help me live with the physical failings that seem to be part of getting older - and as an OAP my prescriptions are free.  What I need is there when I need it without worrying about how much it's going to cost me.  What a blessing!

The other day while in the garden I saw a beautiful butterfly.  I love butterflies.  I think that most gardeners don't like what they have evolved from - caterpillars.  The caterpillars seem to love to eat everything that we want to eat.  But I'm reminded that the birds also love to eat the caterpillars and nurture their young on such treats.  So as I love butterflies and enjoy having the birds visit my garden, I guess I need to have the caterpillars - as long as they don't eat too much!  To get back to the butterfly I saw the other day - a rare sight now in October - it was just resting on the trunk of a tree, wings open, soaking in the benefits of the autumn sun.  (See photo) Such a sight is priceless.  I don't need a load of money in order to enjoy such a beautiful creature.  I stayed for a few minutes just watching it and realising how little time I just sit and enjoy the blessings of the moment, not worrying about the future or what if ... ... Soak up the pleasure of now!

So although harvest isn't maybe what it used to be, I have been considering all the blessings I do have. 
I am fortunate enough to have a pc and access to the internet in order to shop, browse, learn and communicate with friends and family. 
Harvest time/autumn is a wonderful time of the year bursting with incredible colours, especially in the trees as in this beautiful photo. 
I have two wonderful sons and a very inclusive extended family. 
I woke up this morning grateful that I have another day full of possibilities.  I take my tablets and carry on doing all the things I enjoy doing.  
Things may be better when ... ... as Jamie reminded me but right now I have much to thank God for.  I am taking great pleasure in the now moment - a bountiful harvest of countless blessings.

Result!

I don’t always have cereal for breakfast but at the moment if I do, I am enjoying being able to add some mixed berries (blueberries, raspberries and blackberries) freshly picked from the garden, washed and scattered on top.  It is such a joy to be able to go out into the garden and pick something you have grown yourself and make it into a meal.  A number of online friends have been saying the same sort of thing, showing photos of the fruits of their labours and what plans they have for utilizing them.  It always fills me with wonder that such tiny seeds can produce such great produce that feeds our bodies satisfying our hunger.

 

Amazing sugarcraft - a spray of flowers
all made out of icing sugar

People who are creative in craftwork gain the same sense of satisfaction when they finish some project, be it painting, knitting, sewing, baking, making some ornament or any other hobby they love doing.  It’s not just some spare time hobby of course but can be to do with studies and work achievements.  Sometimes many hours of work and great effort are spent in perfecting what we do.  But, oh the joy when we can see the finished article.  Sometimes things don’t always go according to plan and we are disappointed at the results but when it turns out the way we plan, then we are very happy and want to show everyone.  It’s not about the cost or even about the time and effort involved.  It’s something more, beyond words even.  There is a sense of accomplishment and deep happiness when we see our handiwork.

 

With the fruit and vegetables, the obvious words that come to mind are about reaping what we sow and that is true in life also.  But what really has impressed me this week is the deep sense of joy, satisfaction and happiness that comes with it.  When I think how God emptied Himself into human form, giving Himself totally for us, all I want to do is worship Him and give Him joy and pleasure by being what He wants me to be, just as He planned and hoped for me.  His plans for me are ‘plans to prosper (you) and not harm (you), plans to give (you) hope and a future.’ (Jeremiah 29:11)  What response can I give other than worship and praise and bring Him joy?  He gets deep satisfaction when we develop in the way He has planned.  There is great joy in Heaven and that’s the best result of all.

 

 

Better Vision

One of the unfortunate side-effects of having more birthdays is that parts of you stop working as efficiently as they used to!  I have regular check-ups at the eye clinic because of a cataract that is forming in one of my eyes.  This impairs my vision somewhat in that things in the distance become very unclear.  Last week I went for a regular eye test at the optician’s and this week I had to go and collect my new glasses.  It was amazing!  What a difference!   When the assistant asked if I could read the card, I did so without any problem and then in the distance, I could actually read the small print on a poster on the wall.  I was a bit like a kid at Christmas!  All the way up the street on my way back to the bus stop I was deliberately looking in shop windows for notices to read – just because I could – read them I mean!  I don’t know what any passers-by might have thought of this woman with a wide grin on her face looking in all the shop windows.

The following day I went to see my sister – we usually spend a couple of hours a week with a coffee, catching up on family etc.  The bus came around the corner about 100 yards away and I was thrilled to actually be able to read the destination and the number as it turned the corner and didn’t have to wait until it got to within about 5 yards of me.  Now I don’t need to look puzzlingly at an approaching bus and wonder if it is the one I want or not.

 



The thing I realised is that even though my vision was a little impaired and I couldn’t make out some things until they were really quite close, it’s something I got used to and sort of worked within that limitation without much fuss.  I stopped trying to read the news headlines as they went along the bottom of the TV screen.  I just listened to whatever the newsreader said.  In a way I just got used to my limitation in this matter and accepted it almost as inevitable.  This week I was reminded that things that aren’t 100% right can be changed.  Someone once said ‘Nothing that is wrong need be permanent’.  But in order to better my situation I had to go the optician and have my eyes tested and a new prescription given.  Eventually when the time is right, the cataract will be removed and my sight greatly improved.  I may moan about things not being right when maybe I should be thinking of how I can go about changing things and making them better instead of just putting up with things as they are.  With this in mind, yesterday I went into the back garden and mended a bit of fence that was broken.  There that’s better already!

 

Of course the world will take a bit longer to change; after all I’m not wonder woman!  But seriously sometimes we look with a bit of desperation at all that seems to be wrong and resign ourselves to the fact that it’s just the way things are.  But one step at a time, where we are, in our own back yard as it were, we can maybe do something to change some little thing.  After all the ocean is made up of countless drops of water, as they say.  In the Lord’s Prayer we pray ‘Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven’ and as a Christian who believes that this is what God wants then maybe I should be changing things, one bit at a time just where I am so that heaven is apparent just here.  Each of us making a difference right where we are - now there's a vision!





 

Not All That Bad

Two of my blogging friends have had a difficult time lately and both on their blogs this week have focussed not on their tragedies but on thanking God for what they do have and some of the happy times they have shared this year. At this time of year when our thoughts turn to Christmas preparations, I was thinking of what I should include in my usual newsletter that accompanies the cards I send in order to keep family and friends up to date with what is going on in our family. To be honest I am struggling to find enough things to say as this year has been VERY quiet; no travel, no holidays away, no life-changing situations. It seems that this past year I have been very boring and nothing of significance has happened.


But reading my friends' blogs I realised that my attitude was all wrong. Instead of bemoaning my uninteresting life I should think of the good times I have had and the daily blessings that I have enjoyed. Today the weather here in Yeovil has been lovely and warmer than recent days. So I was able to hang the washing outside and by mid afternoon it was all dry. There haven't been many days lately when the weather has been suitable to be able to do this. This morning I went to the hairdresser's to have my hair trimmed. Again I thanked God for the health and strength to be able to walk there and back. This time last year I was struggling to walk so far but God has indeed been good to me restoring my health.

Those who know me or who have followed my blog will know that I love to feed the wild birds in the winter. This week I was able to get a photo of a bluetit on the fat ball container. It is always a pleasure to see these beautiful little birds and that I am able to help in keeping them alive during the cold spell.

I could go on but won't, but I have learnt, or should I say have been reminded yet again, that even when things are not as we would like or seem quieter than we're used to, there is always something good. It's just that we can't see the good things when our minds our totally absorbed with the not so good.  It's just like the old song says, 'Count your many blessings, name them one by one ... ... and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.'

Is The Grass Greener?

We hear many stories of how people overcome some terrible problems in order to give their lives some sort of purpose and direction.  Particularly at this time of the Paralympics, the focus is on many who have been born or suffered, through illness, accident or war, some disability and through sport have found a motive to take part in new things and have gained a sense of self-worth and achievement.  They haven’t just sat back and moaned because of their circumstances.  They have shown real courage and tremendous determination to do something with their lives.

Yesterday, I received (again – as I have received it before) an email with a link to the story of Emmanuel Kelly, a young man with terrible deformation of limbs, born in Iraq and with his brother was left in an orphanage.  He appeared on the Australian version of The X Factor and wanted to sing.  His version of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ really was very moving and inspiring, knowing his story.  If you haven’t come across this, you can watch it through YouTube – http://www.youtube.com/embed/W86jlvrG54o.
 

Emmanuel Kelly

We often think that other people may have a better deal in life than we do or think that if our situation were somehow different then we would be better.  The expression ‘the grass is greener on the other side of the fence’ comes to mind but often if we actually do get to ‘the other side of the fence’ we discover that things are not that different after all.  There is, however, another version of that saying.  It states, ‘The grass is not greener on the other side.  It’s green where you decide to water it, nourish and take care of it.’

Reading that and seeing some remarkable life stories of those taking part in the Paralympics and people like Emmanuel Kelly, somehow puts my little niggles and moans into a more realistic perspective in the big scheme of things.

 

Life Changing

As part of an attempt to lose a few pounds in weight and get a bit more fit at the same time, my son and I have started going for hour-long walks.  Yesterday we walked along a street quite near to our home but realised that there had been some building work done that we hadn’t noticed before.  A whole row of new houses had suddenly appeared where once there had been some run-down flats and a few scruffy looking shops.

 

All around us things are constantly changing, no more so than in the gardens and parks.  The seasons change, although here somehow we seemed to have missed summer this year.  But the gardens show that nature continues its ever-changing appearance.  Flowers come and go, fruits appear while others are reaching the end of their season.  The cherry trees are already losing their leaves and the evenings are drawing in.

On the news yesterday morning there was a report about how in the southwest there have been changes along the coastline.  Some cliffs have broken off, landslides have occurred and in one place one lane of the road had disappeared.  It seems that the earth itself is changing its form.

All of life seems to point to the fact that things are constantly changing and moving.  The old is done away with and the new comes into being.  And yet we humans have an ability to try to keep things established as they were in years gone by.  Things that once were classed as movements have become institutions bogged down by tradition and often losing all the sense of the driving force that they once had.  Too often we echo the sentiments of the close disciples of Jesus when they said ‘Let us make three tabernacles’ as though the spiritual experience that they had just had, could in some way me immortalised in stone.  It’s the desire to ‘bottle it’ and keep things as they were at that wonderful, awesome moment and keep it just like that for posterity when the Spirit moves and keeps moving.  If only we could learn from God’s creation the important lesson that God is always on the move and who knows what wonders we are missing because we want to hang on to what we’ve got instead of allowing ourselves to go where the Spirit leads?
 

Expectations

We are hearing a lot about expectations at the moment.  Even before the Olympics had started, there were reports of how many medals Team GB were expected to get and in particular how many gold medals.  There were sports celebrities who were mentioned by name and the expectation to achieve gold medal status.  I felt sad for some whom on the day of their particular sporting final, weren’t able to deliver on the expectations that other people had put on them.  There was little acknowledgement of all the hard work, practice and discipline that they had put in for years, just a sense almost of failure

You can see that same weight put on some children to achieve academic excellence in their exams.  Some parents seem to have the future all mapped out for their offspring without apparently giving much thought to what they would like to do with their lives.  This is true not only in the academic field but in the arts or the entertainment business also where pushy parents almost force their children into a particular career path.  In later years this often leads to maladjusted adults with many mental or emotional problems.  They carry with them the weight of others’ expectations throughout their lives.

There are some individuals who, not through any expectations of others, seem to expect too much of themselves.  It’s as though they want to be all things to all people – an impossible task!  I shall always remember some wise words spoken to a church leader many years ago.  He had spent himself doing everything above and beyond what he needed and the result was that he ended up in hospital totally exhausted and suffering mental and physical breakdown.  His pastoral visitor wisely said that God doesn’t ask us to do what is beyond our capabilities.  We cannot give God more than our all.  God did not make him ill but his unrealistic expectations of himself did that.

Goals and ambitions are good and sometimes people do need a little nudge to help them to keep going when things get difficult but there is great danger in putting too much weight onto the shoulders of others when God is not actually asking them to do that or go along that path of life.  We need wisdom to distinguish between what we should be responsible for and what God is not asking us to do or be involved with.  That is not always easy.  I need to learn from Solomon that sometimes the best prayer is to pray for wisdom to know what to do and what to leave undone.  Maybe some things are someone else’s responsibility, not mine.

Negative to Positive

I have been aware this week of friends who have had to face (and still are facing) terrible tragedies in their lives through terminal illness in the family and untimely deaths of family or close friends.  It is difficult to come to terms with such situations, if we ever can.  It seems sometimes that all we can do is put on a brave face and somehow try to appear as though we are coping.  How do we pick up the pieces and carry on?  Is it possible to turn things around so that the awfulness of something that has happened can actually be of some help or benefit to someone.  It is often not until years have passed and we can look back that we see just how life has transpired since the dreadful situation pulled our world apart.

It is exactly 15 years tonight (at 1am) that the doctor who visited my husband at our home affirmed that I was now a widow.  Things would, could never be the same again.  I had overcome many difficulties in my life up to that point but this was something new that I had to face.  On many an occasion I thought that I was doing ok when suddenly from nowhere a terrible cloud seemed to engulf me and a great sadness enveloped me.  There was nothing I could do to stop it.  In time and with great gentleness, God, through friends and family guided me into some sort of life again.  Over the past 15 years, as I look back I thank God that out of the darkness and negativity gradually I saw positive things beginning to emerge.  I moved to the other end of the country after retirement and made a new life, travelling to many parts of the world and becoming part of prayer teams encouraging others in their journey with God.

With 3 other friends on a prayer team visiting the Pacific Island of New Caledonia

It is10 years ago today since the two young schoolgirls Jessica Chapman and Holly Wells were murdered in Soham, England.  And now 10 years on the parents of Holly, Kevin and Nicole Wells tell about their heartache and how they have coped with such a horrific tragedy.  They were determined not to let the death of their daughter destroy what remained of their lives while at the same time not forgetting her.  Their son Oliver, who was 2 years older than Holly, was also instrumental in bringing the family back into some sort of home life.  Because of help they received through the charity Grief Encounter, they are now patrons of the charity and earlier this year Kevin ran the London Marathon raising £14,000 for the charity.  They were also instrumental in making sure that police procedure and the keeping of records was reformed.  They were determined that something positive should come out from their sorrow like the phoenix rising from the ashes.

Kevin and Nicola Wells with their son Oliver

It is very hard at the time to see how anything good can come out of such experiences.  It is how I like to interpret the words of Paul to the Romans when he says that all things work together for the good of those that love Him.  When we allow Him to show us the way through our problems, He somehow leads us from the negative into a positive outcome as we allow Him to use the awfulness of what has happened and turn it around so that through it the world becomes a better place.  He make the dark place light, makes the negative into positive.  That is the eternal message of Calvary.