Is The Grass Greener?

We hear many stories of how people overcome some terrible problems in order to give their lives some sort of purpose and direction.  Particularly at this time of the Paralympics, the focus is on many who have been born or suffered, through illness, accident or war, some disability and through sport have found a motive to take part in new things and have gained a sense of self-worth and achievement.  They haven’t just sat back and moaned because of their circumstances.  They have shown real courage and tremendous determination to do something with their lives.

Yesterday, I received (again – as I have received it before) an email with a link to the story of Emmanuel Kelly, a young man with terrible deformation of limbs, born in Iraq and with his brother was left in an orphanage.  He appeared on the Australian version of The X Factor and wanted to sing.  His version of John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’ really was very moving and inspiring, knowing his story.  If you haven’t come across this, you can watch it through YouTube – http://www.youtube.com/embed/W86jlvrG54o.
 

Emmanuel Kelly

We often think that other people may have a better deal in life than we do or think that if our situation were somehow different then we would be better.  The expression ‘the grass is greener on the other side of the fence’ comes to mind but often if we actually do get to ‘the other side of the fence’ we discover that things are not that different after all.  There is, however, another version of that saying.  It states, ‘The grass is not greener on the other side.  It’s green where you decide to water it, nourish and take care of it.’

Reading that and seeing some remarkable life stories of those taking part in the Paralympics and people like Emmanuel Kelly, somehow puts my little niggles and moans into a more realistic perspective in the big scheme of things.

 

Good Friends

I recently received an email from cousin Tommy that made me smile.  It shows animals that you would not expect getting along really well.  It also made me think and every now and again my mind goes back to those photos.  It is entitled 'You don't have to look like me to be my friend'.  I have copied a few of the photos below.

I couldn't help thinking it's a shame that humans make such a big issue of how people look, act and behave differently one from the other.  This is especially poignant this week at the start of the Paralympics.  I don't want to expand further but just ask you to consider what these photos could be like if translated into human terms.  Just think about it!  And thanks Tommy for sharing the email.

Life Changing

As part of an attempt to lose a few pounds in weight and get a bit more fit at the same time, my son and I have started going for hour-long walks.  Yesterday we walked along a street quite near to our home but realised that there had been some building work done that we hadn’t noticed before.  A whole row of new houses had suddenly appeared where once there had been some run-down flats and a few scruffy looking shops.

 

All around us things are constantly changing, no more so than in the gardens and parks.  The seasons change, although here somehow we seemed to have missed summer this year.  But the gardens show that nature continues its ever-changing appearance.  Flowers come and go, fruits appear while others are reaching the end of their season.  The cherry trees are already losing their leaves and the evenings are drawing in.

On the news yesterday morning there was a report about how in the southwest there have been changes along the coastline.  Some cliffs have broken off, landslides have occurred and in one place one lane of the road had disappeared.  It seems that the earth itself is changing its form.

All of life seems to point to the fact that things are constantly changing and moving.  The old is done away with and the new comes into being.  And yet we humans have an ability to try to keep things established as they were in years gone by.  Things that once were classed as movements have become institutions bogged down by tradition and often losing all the sense of the driving force that they once had.  Too often we echo the sentiments of the close disciples of Jesus when they said ‘Let us make three tabernacles’ as though the spiritual experience that they had just had, could in some way me immortalised in stone.  It’s the desire to ‘bottle it’ and keep things as they were at that wonderful, awesome moment and keep it just like that for posterity when the Spirit moves and keeps moving.  If only we could learn from God’s creation the important lesson that God is always on the move and who knows what wonders we are missing because we want to hang on to what we’ve got instead of allowing ourselves to go where the Spirit leads?
 

Expectations

We are hearing a lot about expectations at the moment.  Even before the Olympics had started, there were reports of how many medals Team GB were expected to get and in particular how many gold medals.  There were sports celebrities who were mentioned by name and the expectation to achieve gold medal status.  I felt sad for some whom on the day of their particular sporting final, weren’t able to deliver on the expectations that other people had put on them.  There was little acknowledgement of all the hard work, practice and discipline that they had put in for years, just a sense almost of failure

You can see that same weight put on some children to achieve academic excellence in their exams.  Some parents seem to have the future all mapped out for their offspring without apparently giving much thought to what they would like to do with their lives.  This is true not only in the academic field but in the arts or the entertainment business also where pushy parents almost force their children into a particular career path.  In later years this often leads to maladjusted adults with many mental or emotional problems.  They carry with them the weight of others’ expectations throughout their lives.

There are some individuals who, not through any expectations of others, seem to expect too much of themselves.  It’s as though they want to be all things to all people – an impossible task!  I shall always remember some wise words spoken to a church leader many years ago.  He had spent himself doing everything above and beyond what he needed and the result was that he ended up in hospital totally exhausted and suffering mental and physical breakdown.  His pastoral visitor wisely said that God doesn’t ask us to do what is beyond our capabilities.  We cannot give God more than our all.  God did not make him ill but his unrealistic expectations of himself did that.

Goals and ambitions are good and sometimes people do need a little nudge to help them to keep going when things get difficult but there is great danger in putting too much weight onto the shoulders of others when God is not actually asking them to do that or go along that path of life.  We need wisdom to distinguish between what we should be responsible for and what God is not asking us to do or be involved with.  That is not always easy.  I need to learn from Solomon that sometimes the best prayer is to pray for wisdom to know what to do and what to leave undone.  Maybe some things are someone else’s responsibility, not mine.

Negative to Positive

I have been aware this week of friends who have had to face (and still are facing) terrible tragedies in their lives through terminal illness in the family and untimely deaths of family or close friends.  It is difficult to come to terms with such situations, if we ever can.  It seems sometimes that all we can do is put on a brave face and somehow try to appear as though we are coping.  How do we pick up the pieces and carry on?  Is it possible to turn things around so that the awfulness of something that has happened can actually be of some help or benefit to someone.  It is often not until years have passed and we can look back that we see just how life has transpired since the dreadful situation pulled our world apart.

It is exactly 15 years tonight (at 1am) that the doctor who visited my husband at our home affirmed that I was now a widow.  Things would, could never be the same again.  I had overcome many difficulties in my life up to that point but this was something new that I had to face.  On many an occasion I thought that I was doing ok when suddenly from nowhere a terrible cloud seemed to engulf me and a great sadness enveloped me.  There was nothing I could do to stop it.  In time and with great gentleness, God, through friends and family guided me into some sort of life again.  Over the past 15 years, as I look back I thank God that out of the darkness and negativity gradually I saw positive things beginning to emerge.  I moved to the other end of the country after retirement and made a new life, travelling to many parts of the world and becoming part of prayer teams encouraging others in their journey with God.

With 3 other friends on a prayer team visiting the Pacific Island of New Caledonia

It is10 years ago today since the two young schoolgirls Jessica Chapman and Holly Wells were murdered in Soham, England.  And now 10 years on the parents of Holly, Kevin and Nicole Wells tell about their heartache and how they have coped with such a horrific tragedy.  They were determined not to let the death of their daughter destroy what remained of their lives while at the same time not forgetting her.  Their son Oliver, who was 2 years older than Holly, was also instrumental in bringing the family back into some sort of home life.  Because of help they received through the charity Grief Encounter, they are now patrons of the charity and earlier this year Kevin ran the London Marathon raising £14,000 for the charity.  They were also instrumental in making sure that police procedure and the keeping of records was reformed.  They were determined that something positive should come out from their sorrow like the phoenix rising from the ashes.

Kevin and Nicola Wells with their son Oliver

It is very hard at the time to see how anything good can come out of such experiences.  It is how I like to interpret the words of Paul to the Romans when he says that all things work together for the good of those that love Him.  When we allow Him to show us the way through our problems, He somehow leads us from the negative into a positive outcome as we allow Him to use the awfulness of what has happened and turn it around so that through it the world becomes a better place.  He make the dark place light, makes the negative into positive.  That is the eternal message of Calvary.