Negative to Positive

I have been aware this week of friends who have had to face (and still are facing) terrible tragedies in their lives through terminal illness in the family and untimely deaths of family or close friends.  It is difficult to come to terms with such situations, if we ever can.  It seems sometimes that all we can do is put on a brave face and somehow try to appear as though we are coping.  How do we pick up the pieces and carry on?  Is it possible to turn things around so that the awfulness of something that has happened can actually be of some help or benefit to someone.  It is often not until years have passed and we can look back that we see just how life has transpired since the dreadful situation pulled our world apart.

It is exactly 15 years tonight (at 1am) that the doctor who visited my husband at our home affirmed that I was now a widow.  Things would, could never be the same again.  I had overcome many difficulties in my life up to that point but this was something new that I had to face.  On many an occasion I thought that I was doing ok when suddenly from nowhere a terrible cloud seemed to engulf me and a great sadness enveloped me.  There was nothing I could do to stop it.  In time and with great gentleness, God, through friends and family guided me into some sort of life again.  Over the past 15 years, as I look back I thank God that out of the darkness and negativity gradually I saw positive things beginning to emerge.  I moved to the other end of the country after retirement and made a new life, travelling to many parts of the world and becoming part of prayer teams encouraging others in their journey with God.

With 3 other friends on a prayer team visiting the Pacific Island of New Caledonia

It is10 years ago today since the two young schoolgirls Jessica Chapman and Holly Wells were murdered in Soham, England.  And now 10 years on the parents of Holly, Kevin and Nicole Wells tell about their heartache and how they have coped with such a horrific tragedy.  They were determined not to let the death of their daughter destroy what remained of their lives while at the same time not forgetting her.  Their son Oliver, who was 2 years older than Holly, was also instrumental in bringing the family back into some sort of home life.  Because of help they received through the charity Grief Encounter, they are now patrons of the charity and earlier this year Kevin ran the London Marathon raising £14,000 for the charity.  They were also instrumental in making sure that police procedure and the keeping of records was reformed.  They were determined that something positive should come out from their sorrow like the phoenix rising from the ashes.

Kevin and Nicola Wells with their son Oliver

It is very hard at the time to see how anything good can come out of such experiences.  It is how I like to interpret the words of Paul to the Romans when he says that all things work together for the good of those that love Him.  When we allow Him to show us the way through our problems, He somehow leads us from the negative into a positive outcome as we allow Him to use the awfulness of what has happened and turn it around so that through it the world becomes a better place.  He make the dark place light, makes the negative into positive.  That is the eternal message of Calvary.

Latest Project

This is my latest project for the garden.


Where do I start?

Hmm!

It's becoming clearer.

Finished and in situ!

This morning I treat myself to a mini-greenhouse for my poor tomato plants to see if a little TLC will help them to grow a bit.  At the front there is a panel that zips closed.  In the photo it is rolled up and tied so you can tend to the plants but they can be kept enclosed as in a greenhouse.  Another Wilkinson bargain at just £13 !  Where would we be without Wilko's?

Summer at Last

What a differnece a few days of sun has made to the garden.  Just want to share a few photos taken this afternoon.  It's good to see the bees and butterflies doing their work of pollinating.  (But didn't manage to get a photo of a butterfly)

That's Life!

After such a lovely weekend last week, this week has been quite a contrast.  It has felt as though everything was working against me.  I'm sure many have had that feeling when nothing seems to go right.

On Monday, the rain had cleared for a while and so I went into the garden to see if there was any fruit worth picking.  The cherries had been just about ripe, only needing a bit of sunshine to turn them a rich red.  I was surprised to see that there were no cherries there at all.  At first I thought that the birds must have been very hungry but then noticed that they must have been absolutely starving to pick them complete with stalks from the tree!  It seems that while we were out, someone had been been in our garden and picked them all.  Later that morning while doing a load of washing, the spinner stopped working.  So I was wringing out the clothes by hand.  I phoned to arrange a repairman to come.  They cannot come before next Monday. 

 I had arranged my journey and booked my train tickets to go to Bath on Thursday for a family funeral.  I was to pick the tickets up at the automated machine at the station.  But then they said that the station where I had to get the train did not have such a machine so on Tuesday I had to travel to another station to get my train tickets.  Nothing seems straight forward!

Wednesday was one of those domino effect days.  It began with an appointment at the hairdresser to have my usual 6 weeks trim.  My usual hairdresser was on the sick and so another one cut my hair.  She asked how I wanted it and I told her I like it short.  Not quite that short! 

She was running a bit late and I had a doctor's appointment after this.  The result was that those extra 5 minutes meant that I missed the bus I should have got so I waited for the next one that should have got me there just on time (with a bit of a squeeze) but that bus just didn't turn up.  (You couldn't make this up!)  The next bus got me there about 20 minutes late.

I apologised and explained everythig to the receptionist.  She said she would have to have a word with the doctor.  After a few minutes back came the verdict - as I was so late, I couldn't be slotted in between patients so I would have to re-book.  The next available appointment was on Monday ... but I couldn't wait until then as I would run out of some of my medication by the weekend.  I was advised to look online in the morning and see what was available.  When I checked, the only available appointments were early which meant that I would need to get the bus before 9 am and so not be able to use my Senior Bus Pass.  Well needs must, so I booked my appointmtent. 

On Thursday I set out for Bath feeling that surely nothing could go wrong ... ... except the train was delayed about half an hour which meant that I eventually got there just in time to creep in and sit in the back row as the service was about to begin.  But it was good to catch up with family we don't often see and be able to stand with them in their time of bereavement.

Hopefully things have taken a turn for the better.  This morning the bus fare was not as much as I had expected, I now have my new supply of medication and we have now had more than 36 hours without rain!  I guess it's a case of keep plodding on, looking forward to my washing machine being fixed on Monday and a new week ahead.  Hey ho!  That's life, as they say!

Lost and Found

It has been a strange week of lost and found.  Last week we heard the news that an elderly aunt had passed away.  Aunty Jenny was only one month from her 100th birthday.  Then on Tuesday I received an email from a cousin telling me of the passing of another cousin, Henry.  It seems sort of expected and not quite so bad when the person is of a previous generation but when it happens to someone in your own generation, even when in their late 70s it feels a bit close for comfort.  Death does not concern me as such but is something you don't really think about until a moment like this and you are suddenly reminded of your own mortality.

Henry was one of my husband's many cousins who with his English wife came back to live in England around the time that we did in the 1970s.  He and his wife used to visit us often especially in the last years before my husband died and were a real source of comfort and support.  So many memories came rushing back to mind.

But on a brighter note, on Saturday we met up again with the cousin and aunty we re-discovered earlier this year after so many years.  Aunty Betty is now our only living aunt.  On Friday, my elder son arrived for a long weekend visit.  My sister and son who also live in Yeovil also came for lunch, so it was a day of meeting and re-encounter.  Strangely my cousin’s wife didn’t come as she was meeting up with a cousin of her own who emigrated to New Zealand in 1974 and was over to the UK on a visit.   She was having her own re-encounter.  It was quite a day full of chatter trying to close the gap and catch up on the intervening years.  It was a day we plan to repeat in the not-too-distant future.

Yesterday I continued to enjoy the company of both my sons.  We had a trip out to the small town where my husband and I spent the first 6 months of our marriage before sailing off to Argentina for the next 10 years.  We drove up the street where we used to live – another re-encounter with some distant memories.  We continued a couple of miles down to the coast and as it turned out to be rather cloudy at first, my son got out an umbrella he kept in the boot of the car – just in case.  On our walk around the bay we stopped for coffee and were going back towards the car when I realised that I no longer had the umbrella.  We retraced our steps to the places we had been but to no avail – lost!

In the evening we went into town for a meal and found a Mexican restaurant we had never visited before.  The tasty meal was a lovely end to a rather mixed lost and found week.

Missionaries

I have been greatly encouraged lately hearing about young people with a heart for missionary work.  It took my mind back to the time of Albert Schweitzer and his work in Africa.  In those early days of missionaries, they went simply to serve the people and help them in their need.  Those like Gladys Aylward who served God in China, totally identified themselves with the people they lived amongst.  They didn't go out with the idea of some project for the church back home.  They felt God's calling to serve those among whom they lived.

Gladys Aylward

Sadly since those days the whole idea of missionary work has, in some areas, changed its perspective.  Some think of it as a form of outreach to expand the limits of their denominational empire.  It has become more about projects and programmes, large crusades to increase numbers in attendance.  Sometimes it is used as a step on the ladder upwards in church heirarchy.  It has become more and more about giving a glowing report of what has been achieved and being able to calculate success in some numeric form.  But happily I am aware of other ways of working.  My friends in Latvia are among those who live among the people as they live.  They don't have mission targets and are not sponsored but live as those around them live.  I have another friend who goes for 9 months of the year to Nicaragua to work among the families who live off the rubbish tips and try to get the children into education in order to improve their prospects in life.  I could mention others around the world, just going where God has called them and living there and asking God what He wants them to do.

Working on the land in Latvia

I am also following the blog of a local doctor who has taken a 3 months sabbatical and is currently in India helping out at the local clinic and working with people in the slums.  I am encouraged as I said at the beginning because God has a way when we mess things up and go off the rails a bit, he stirs the hearts of others to go out and just do things differently - simply wanting to serve those who are there without any over-riding plan or trying to prove that they have been successful.  How can you measure the success of a friendly smile to a child living in poverty? How can you make a helping hand in a time of need count in some numbers game?  God is alive and at work but not always in the organisational or denominational plans and projects.

Alien?

I have come to the conclusion that I must be an alien. It seems that you must be interested in sport in order to be considered 'normal'. I am not! I would rather take a long walk in the countryside and watch the wildlife or sit and read a book than watch sport. Up to now this summer we have been bombarded with headlines and television programmes about the European football, motor racing, tennis and many more and we still have the Olympics to come.

Don't get me wrong, for those who are interested in such things, I'm glad when they do well after all their training and hard work and the effort they need to put into achieving good results. But, for me at least, that is not the be all and end all of my life. There are headlines in newspapers saying that we are praying for someone to win. Really? I guess I should be happy that they are praying but can't help asking 'Is this what Jesus meant when he told us to pray to Father?'

What about the person or team who lost? Are they not worthy of God's compassion? Does God appreciate the efforts of one country more than another? I pray that those who pay hard earned money to go and see sporting events, have an enjoyable day. I pray that those taking part will not be seriously hurt in the process. I pray for fairness and good sportsmanship and good and cordial behaviour among fans. And I pray that the person or team that proves to be the best on the day, wins.

I admit that sport is a very healthy pursuit and good for you - if that is what you like to do. But just because I don't does not make me weird. So this evening I am going to enjoy the last in the Chris Packham series 'Secrets of our Living Planet'.

The Untouchables

The title of this blog entry is the title of a film I remember seeing quite some time ago.  It was about the American Federal Agent Eliot Ness and the story of how he sets out to stop the famous gangster Al Capone.  Al Capone and his mob thought that because of their intimidation, force and control of unauthorised business dealings that they could do whatever they wanted as the authorities couldn't touch them.  In the end he was taken to court and subsequently imprisoned, not for his illegal gangster activities but for unpaid tax.  He was not, after all, untouchable.



Kevin Costner (2nd from right) in the role of Eliot Ness in the film 

Throughout history we have heard of people who have thought of themselves as untouchable.  The Caesars of Rome claimed to be gods and that whatever they said must be done.  They could decide a person's fate simply by the hand gesture of 'thumbs up' or thumbs down'.  Most of them, however, came to a very sad end as did the whole Roman Empire.  History is littered with stories of empires that rise and fall.  Even in recent times we have seen systems of government that ruled with an iron fist but now are no longer in power.

Over the past few months there seems to have been a plethora of revelations about irregular dealings by politicians, the media, the global financial system, multinational companies and pharmaceutical claims.  Much is spurred on it would seem by sheer greed and power.  Maybe it's time that such people read a little history and learn from it that no-one is untouchable.  The phrase 'How the mighty have fallen!' comes to mind. (2 Samuel 1:19)

For my convenience!

It's strange how we can be all for something until it actually affects us in some way.  For online banking I have a card reader that I need to use in order to avoid anyone hacking into my account.  That is good! ... ... until ... ...  something goes wrong.  For those unfamiliar with such gadgets, you put your bank card into the small opening and put in your PIN.  Then there appears a number on the small screen which you copy into the correct place on the online form.  That is fine as long as the number is clear.  But lately my card reader has become ever more unclear to read.  The other day I must have misread the number and so it refused me access to my account.  I tried again and was told that access to this account was now unavailable for security reasons.  What?!  Now what do I do? 

If this had happened when someone else was trying to get into my account I would have been very happy.  But not when it was me!  I was given a phone number to use to apply for a new card reader and for them to unblock my account.  I was asked if I minded answering (a whole string of) security questions to ensure that I am me.  Of course not - that is what security is about, isn't it?  When asked what payments had been made in the past month from my account my first reaction was 'If you allow me access to my account I could tell you!'  But then thought of the regular monthly outgoings with dates and amounts.

I now have a new card reader and all has been rectified really without a great deal of problem, I am glad to say.  I have also made a list with pen and paper of all my regular outgoings with dates and amounts, just in case I need to have the information again but you can be sure that now I am ready, it won't happen!  But I had to smile at myself.  I am so pleased that online banking makes it difficult for anyone other than myself to access my account so why was I getting more irritated by the minute until it was sorted?  It seems that I like things to be all tied up neatly and secure as long as there is no inconvenience to myself.

Connections and Interdependency

Lately I have been watching a series of programmes called ‘Secrets of our Living Planet’ where the presenter, Chris Packam shows and explains just how all of creation is linked.  It has been amazing to see how the huge brazil nut tree depends on an orchid growing out of its branches. A particular species of bee lives solely off the orchid while the female of the species seeks out the nectar of the flower of the same brazil nut tree and so pollinates it.  When the fruit is ripe and falls to the ground, a rodent picks it up and carries it about 200 yards away to hide it and return to it later.  Often the hidden nuts are forgotten and so grow into new trees.  In similar vein a gecko needs a giraffe and a leaf cutter ant depends on a wolf.  All of creation is connected and interdependent in chains of action resulting in ecosystems.

It was also brought to our notice how a whole ecosystem can die and disappear because one small insect or tiny creature is wiped out; such is the interdependence between the various species.  I quote the summing up paragraph to one of the programmes:

The complex web of relationships that we’ve seen has evolved over millions of years but I’ve learnt to see the real beauty in nature.  It’s not in the minute detail.  It’s in the bigger picture.  Because this works perfectly, that is beautiful.

God is in the detail and it is all the tiny details and interactions that make up a bigger picture.  So often we get bogged down in our own little world of detail.  Sometimes it is good for us to take a step back and consider just what our particular activity is connected to.  When we ask God to help us see things through His eyes, we are in effect asking to see the bigger picture – beyond our own little space.  We are all connected and interdependent and just how God works all that out – now that’s the beauty of God!

Let the Children ...

Yesterday I had the pleasure of going to my nephew's son's 2nd birthday tea.  It was a lovely family get together with lots of nice things to eat.  His 5 year old elder brother had made some cakes especially for the occasion - with white icing and white chocolate buttons on them - mmm, not forgetting the birthday cake in the shape of Mickey.  There were presents to open and enjoy - toys, sweets, t-shirts with pictures of his favourite cartoon characters on them, a touchy feely book and lots more.  But the pièce de resistance was his new tricycle from Mam and Dad.  He just wanted to go outside in the garden and play on his new bike.

Watching the children playing reminded me of something I read earlier in the week. 

Contact with children teaches us sincerity, simplicity, the ability to live in the present hour, the present action.  Children are, in a sense, reborn daily: hence their spontaneity, the lack of complexity in their souls, the simplicity of their judgments and actions.  Moreover their intuitive distinctions between good and evil are direct and straightforward, their souls are free of the bonds of sin, they are not continually judging and analyzing.

As Jesus said – we must become as children.  There’s a lot more to it than first we might think when we hear those words.

Caterpillar or Butterfly?

One of my favourite insects is the butterfly.  I think there is nothing nicer on a sunny day than to see the butterflies flitting from one flower to another, seeking out the nectar and pollinating at the same time. Having lived in hotter climes, I have had the privilege of seeing some beautifully coloured and very large butterflies.  It is amazing to see a whole crowd of them resting and drinking beside a waterfall.  Absolutely stunning.

A group of swallowtails drinking in a pool next to Iguazu waterfalls

On the other hand I really dislike caterpillars and most gardeners try to eliminate them from the plants as they seem to devour just about every green leaf in sight.  Although they can also be of varying colours, some quite stunning to look at, the colours don't seem to attract us in the same way as the butterflies do.  Somehow that wriggly worm-like creature doesn't have the same appeal as the butterfly.

Maybe we see the apparent freedom of the butterfly displaying its beauty and being useful to us as pollinators while the caterpillars just seem to eat everything that we want to grow for our own use and pleasure.  The thing is that you can't have the butterfly without first having the caterpillar and it seems to me that for every caterpillar that we get rid of, that's one less butterfly to enjoy.  Hmm!!  Quite a dilemma!  Is that another of nature's lessons?  Someone once said, 'There's nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.'

As Strong As ... ...

The saying is 'as strong as an ox' which implies that strength is synonymous with size and brute force.  I guess it depends on what you mean by strength.  I think there is a kind of strength that has nothing to do with size or brute force.

A few nights ago we had a terrible storm that blew down part of our fence in the back garden - the gardener is coming next week to repair it.  Last evening I was watching the programme 'Springwatch' and their conversation was about the storm and the consequent floods and its effect on the wildlife.  Every year 'Springwatch' present their programme from a different location and this year it is from Wales.  Over the weekend Wales has suffered terrible storms and floods due to the amount of rain that has fallen and the water pouring down from the mountains and the rivers not being able to contain it.  Sadly there was loss of habitat and wildlife.  But the presenters were (and I was also) amazed at the precarious looking nest of a Goldcrest.

The Goldcrest is the smallest British bird and yet this tiny creature was still sitting on its eggs in the nest keeping them warm and sheltered from the conditions until they would hatch.  Other bigger creatures had perished but this tiny bird that weighs only a few grams showed a tenacity and strength beyond its appearance.  The nest swayed in the branches of the tree but it stayed put.  When at last the rain stopped and the clouds cleared for a short time there was such a cacophony of sound from all the birds, insects and mammals that emerged as though they were singing praises for their deliverance.  What lessons to be learned!  It reminded me of my online friend Joanna in Latvia who has a rather lame chick who apparently has quite a personality and won't give in but keeps trying to keep up with the others. 

Joanna's little lame chick (courtesy of Joanna's blog)



Thinking about that little Goldcrest, I felt quite a wimp when I snuggled up in my comfortable bed with my lovely duvet.  I want to change the saying to 'as strong as a goldcrest'.

Looking Back

When waiting at the bus stop to go into town, it is interesting to listen to the various conversations.  There is one particular elderly gentleman who regularly gets the same bus as me and his conversation is usually on the same topic - modern technology, computers in particular.  He really doesn't have a good word to say about them.  He certainly doesn't want one and couldn't see himself ever owning one.  Then I started wondering what my life would be like without one!  I would have to keep calling in at the bank or Post Office to pay my bills and organise my accounts.  I wouldn't be able to shop online as I do now.  And I wouldn't have a number of new-found friends that I now have through blogs and Facebook.  It would be more expensive and take longer to keep in touch with family and friends that are scattered throughout the world.  He couldn’t imagine himself with a pc but actually I couldn't imagine myself without one.  It is so useful and helpful for so many things.

This afternoon I caught up with a programme I recorded from last evening about the House That the 50s Built.  It is a series of four programmes that compares what a house would have looked like in 1950 and how it would look 10 years on as it reached the end of the decade.  This week's episode was all about the kitchen.  It echoed a conversation I had with my son only the other day when I told him that when I was a girl we didn't have television or washing machines or fridges (let alone freezers).  Working class people could not afford to have a telephone or central heating.  It was the decade when plastic and melamine became available, when a new drug called penicillin was introduced and gadgets like the automatic kettle, the toaster, the pressure cooker and the food mixer became known.  I remember my mother buying her first vacuum cleaner and non-stick pans were introduced ... ... and I could go on.

The thing is, looking back to 'the good old days', I don't think they were that good really.  So I welcome new technology, although it might take me a while to get the hang of it all!  Or as one lady in the bus queue commented, ‘Well we now live in the 21^st century and things are different, so he’d better get used to it!’

Game Surgery

It appears that the modders have been at it again, modifying new game technology for uses other than gaming. About a couple of years ago, XBox 360 brought out their newest technology - Kinect. This is a hands-free system that reacts to movement and voice commands. This means that your own voice or movement controls what happens in the game without you actually being connected by some cabled control that you click continuously and frantically in order to progress throughout the game.

The latest use for this technology has been in the operating theatres of selected hospitals on a trial basis. Surgeons sing its praises saying that it will speed up operations and decrease the risk of infection as they don't need to use a keyboard or be giving instructions verbally to other people to carry out their requests.

It is a serious consideration that within 10 years this technology will be common place in all hospitals. When you consider how quickly new technology is used to 'improve' weapons or destructive techniques for war, it is so reassuring to know that this technology is being used to help save lives. Some good news indeed.

Slimbridge

We spent a fabulous day yesterday at Slimbridge Waterfowl Park. We took a day excursion with South West Coaches. The weather was glorious all day - no wind, no clouds, just sunshine. We were greeted at the entrance by a heron just basking in the sun. It seemed as though he was inviting us to enjoy the day with him.

The first pool is full of swans, various kinds of ducks, geese, moorhens and coots. The great thing is that a lot of the birds are free to go where they want while the human visitors have to stay on the designated paths. The children love this part as they can get really close to the birds and enjoy feeding them.

A woman (not me) feeding the geese

Further along there are enclosures where they ask you not to feed them as they are from different parts of the world and have a more specialised diet that is catered for by the staff. There were swans, geese and ducks of all colours.




The smew

The white one is called a smew. There were ones with blue bills from South America.




Argentine Ruddy Duck



Puna Teal from the Andes

The strangest one we saw was referred to as the missing link between geese, swans, and game birds. It was called a Crested Screamer, although we didn't hear it 'scream'. 



Crested Screamer

We saw baby coots barely a few days old. There were birds that were large like the flamingoes and others that were so small and looked very delicate like the Red Shank and Avocet.



Avocet



We had quite a long conversation with another visitor who had a camera with an absolutely enormous zoom lens on it who admitted that for her watching and photographing wildlife was not a hobby but rather an obsession. Looking at some of her photographs made me feel a bit like hiding my little digital camera. She was a very interesting lady who obviously enjoyed her single life, sharing it with creation.

To crown it all, when we got back in the coach for the return journey, we discovered while chatting to the driver that he was originally from Gateshead! (for those who don't know, that is just the other side of the river from our place of origin) In July he is taking a group on a tour of the North East, spending time at Alnwick, Bamburgh, the Farne Islands and the obligatory fish and chip dinner at Seahouses. Mmm! Sounds like a good idea to me!