I have been greatly impacted by a couple of videos that I've seen shared on social media this week. The first one was a deliberate ploy to see how people would react when they discover that someone had dropped his wallet. A number of people were very honest and immediately called after the young man to tell him he had dropped his wallet. However there was one young man who picked up the wallet, looked around but didn't see who had dropped it so he put it in his pocket. He then proceeded to do some shopping using a credit card that was identical to the one that had been in the wallet. He bought a number of things before continuing on his journey. He kept taking the wallet out of his pocket and looking through it and also phoning presumably some friend. The man was probably in his twenties and had one prosthetic lower leg that was clearly visible and so I thought that maybe if he was classed as disabled then maybe he was struggling financially, unable to hold a full time job and so this wallet that suddenly appeared would seem like a piece of good luck for him. Eventually the video clip ended when he actually went to the house of the person whose wallet he had found. He was taking it back to its owner. He had not used the credit card from the wallet but his own credit card that was identical to the one that had been dropped. He had not used any of the money from the wallet but all the time had used his own money. How wrong I was to prejudge the young man as were many others including the person who set up the ploy in the first place.
The second video that left a lasting impression on me was by a lady called Yassmin Abdel-Magied. She began by asking what people's reactions were when they saw her dressed with a hijab and typical 'Muslim' style clothes. Hopefully most would not judge her just because she was obviously a Muslim but would be open to listen to what she had to say. She went on to ask what they would think of her if she said she was a mechanic. I guess a few smiled, thinking 'no way!' She proceeded to take off her outer garment and hijab to reveal underneath the bright orange work clothes of a motor mechanic and put on a hard hat over her hair that was tightly fastened with a scarf. She said that actually she designed racing cars and that this was her day job. Surprise! She went on to talk about how often we are not openly biased but that actually deep inside we still have prejudices and biases that are so hidden that we're quite unaware of them. She went on to tell a story of a man and his son who were in a car when they had an accident. The father died on impact and the son was rushed to hospital. The surgeon came to see the young man before operating but said 'I can't operate on him. That is my son.' I must admit that my first reaction was that the man in the car must have been his step-father. Yassmin then went on to say that the surgeon was his mother. Ouch! I've done it again.
The thing is that my late husband was not English, European or from North America and I lived abroad for about 10 years. I have mixed freely with many people of different cultures and all walks of life, from highly professional to those in abject poverty. I also have a person from my extended family who converted to Islam a few years ago. So I really consider myself to be totally non-biased and accepting of those from other parts of the world and other cultures. So for me these two videos made me see again that there are sometimes things that are just part of who we are and how we think because we have been brought up in a particular culture or from a part of the world with a certain way of looking at things. For me it was a wake-up call to check my reactions to people and situations that might concern religion, gender, sexuality or disability. I must never presume anything about someone without getting to know them. As Yassmin says in her talk, very often our first reactions and judgements about people turn out to be wrong. It was also a reality check for me to not think I'm above having such reactions and thoughts. Some things are so ingrained in us that it is difficult to acknowledge their presence. What do I think? I think I'm not as free from bias as I thought I was. There is still work to be done and room for improvement. And you? What do you think? Please try to make time to watch the videos. You'll find it worthwhile.
Who, as a child has not enjoyed the delights of blowing bubbles and watching them float away showing all their changing colours as they go? Children are fascinated by this very simple and cheap pastime, chasing them and trying to catch them. A bubble is simply some gas enclosed in a thin film of water and it is the reaction of the water film with the light that creates the shimmering colours that causes so much fascination and delight. The word 'bubble' conjures up a number of ideas. As a Northerner, I remember parents saying to children, 'Giv' ower bubbling'. For the uninitiated this means 'stop crying'. To bubble is to be stirred with emotion, hence the word bubble referring to crying - the strong emotional response to a situation. Most people will have experienced the sensation of something bubbling up inside as a reaction to a moving situation. This can be said equally of anger, sadness, apprehension or joy. Others of course think of a bubbly personality as being someone who is cheerful and positive in their outlook. I heard the other day of someone who referred to a person as 'living in a bubble'. A person who actually needs, for medical reasons, to live in a literal bubble is in a very sad situation. They are not free to live in the real world as there is so much that can harm them and possibly end their life and so they need to be protected from the outside world by living in a bubble-shaped prison. They exist within a very limiting way of life and cannot freely share in activities that others enjoy. When we refer to someone as living in a bubble, we infer that they don't really live in the real world. They seem to live in a childlike, naive state that only sees what immediately affects them . They somehow cannot see beyond their own little, limited world and seem incapable of sharing or sensing what others are feeling or their circumstances in life. There is no other alternative to the way they think or feel. Everything beyond their bubble is alien to them.
Sadly many people seem to fall into this category, whether that be about politics, their own sense of being right, thoughtlessness towards others or with religion. They live surrounded by a protective bubble. It's as though anything outside of their bubble is alien to them and harmful so they stay inside the bubble where they feel secure and comfortable. Their bubble might look nice and colourful but it is really a sort of prison limiting their scope and ability to really express themselves freely without restrictions. It floats away because it's not the real world and yet for so many it is their world as though nothing exists outside of it. But there is life outside the bubble. We need to be aware of what goes on around us, how others think and live. It's good to have the emotions of life bubbling up inside of us but not to live within the confines of a bubble. There is so much more to life than the restrictions that a bubble existence imposes. There are those who see life from a different perspective but are just as right as we are and are striving to be true to themselves, the people they believe they were created to be, even if that is different from our view point. Chase the bubble if you want but don't become captive to it and think that that is all there is. We may not feel so safe and protected but outside the bubble is where the real life is lived, varied, creative, adventurous and interesting. That's where the true freedom is.
I have become quite an avid label reader. At first, when food shopping, it was about the total calories an item contained. Then for those of us who need to take care of our cholesterol level it's more about the amount of saturated fat that a product contains. The latest in the line of 'baddies' that we need to look out for is sugar, especially it seems in low fat products. It's amazing just how much sugar and salt are added to just about everything, even to what you think are savoury products. There is currently a series on TV about such matters. Last week it looked at sugar in food, this week about the total calories. Next week they will be taking an in-depth look at fats. Oh dear, it seems we cannot win.Years ago we didn't seem to have all these problems but of course years ago, we knew exactly what was in our food as we mostly cooked it from fresh ingredients. All this labeling is useful if you're trying to maintain a decent quality of healthy food in your diet, especially as so much of what we consume is now already processed for our convenience - although I still prefer to prepare meals from fresh so I know exactly what's in them. It's not just in food though that we see people checking labels. Some people prefer clothing with certain brand name labels rather than others. When I look at clothing labels it's not so much for the name of the maker but rather how to take care of it and wash/iron it. When I buy items of crockery, pots and pans etc. then I look to see if I can use them in the microwave, oven or dishwasher. That's because I really don't want to break something or spoil it by putting it in the microwave or oven if it's not made to withstand the high heat. As regards the dishwasher and washing machine, it does seem a bit pointless buying something that I need to wash by hand when the whole point of having a machine is to save me from that very activity. When it comes to clothing if it says 'do not iron', that's an added bonus. So again, labels are very useful and in some cases quite necessary in order to know exactly what we are purchasing and if it meets our requirements. Labels tell us a lot about where something was made, what's it's made from and what are its uses. The problem is that we tend to label things that can't really be labelled. Sticking a label on doesn't necessarily tell us everything we want or need to know. When we define people with a label, we might get some idea of what they believe (Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu etc) or where they come from (Britain, Asia, Africa etc) or their sexuality (gay, straight, trans or bisexual) but such labels don't really tell us about the person behind the label. We can't know from a label if there is any unseen or invisible disability. We don't know what financial or emotional struggles someone is experiencing just by seeing that they happen to be 'white European' for example (or any other combination of labels). People can so often put on a brave face, keep smiling when they are actually going to pieces deep inside. How many people get conned out of money by someone who 'looked' trustworthy and dressed smartly? Labeling someone by their outward appearance is not really knowing that person. You can have a fair idea of goods you buy by their labels but you can't use the same method of getting to know a person simply by putting them in a certain box or category. Sadly we do this too much. Just as you can't judge a book by its cover, so you can't know a person by a label that some people want to stick on them. Labels judge people, friendship gets to know them. Lord, help me not to pigeon-hole people just by their religion, ethnicity, sexuaity or outward appearance but help me to love and treat them all as You do by looking deeper and trying to get to know them better.
