Take Your Time

Walking into town this morning, I passed a young woman with a small child.  The woman was holding an empty pushchair, looking behind where the child was.  The small toddler was walking very slowly.  I smiled to myself thinking 'you can't be in a hurry when a small child wants to walk.'  The mother knows where she's going and just wants to get there but for the child, it's a whole new adventure.  She wants to look closely at everything and just take time to enjoy the freedom of walking and taking it all in.  No doubt some things were new to her and so had to be investigated.

Those of us who are parents or grandparents remember well the times when our children discovered things for the first time.  Oh the excitement; the look on their faces; sheer wonder at discovering something new.

It does seem a shame that much of that wonder of seeing life goes as we grow older.  We can so easily get to the point of 'we've seen it all before' and dismiss the awesomeness of small things happening all around us.  We are so often in a hurry just to get from A to B as quickly as possible.  Busy, busy, busy; deadlines to meet; so much to pack into our 24 hours.  And before we know it, the months and years have flown by.  

I must say that as a retired person, I do have the privilege of not having deadlines to meet or places I must be.  Still, it is a good reminder to occasionally just stop and notice the small details of everyday life.  Take time, take a deep breath and enjoy just being alive.  Don't let life slip by without taking time to enjoy it.   

Variety and Nonconformity

Hello, everyone, as you can see I'm back after quite a long break.  I won't be posting regularly every week as before but will do so occasionally.

In the news lately, we have been advised that taking a brisk walk every day even for only 10 minutes, will keep us healthy.  So this morning I decided to go for a short walk around the estate where I live.  I don't know how often I'll do this, but at least it will be a start!  After I'd finished doing some chores in the house and had put a load of washing in the washer, I went on my way.

I passed a garden with beautiful flowers, all colours, shapes and sizes making a wonderful display.  Further along a passed a hedge trimmed very neatly and next to it a neighbouring hedge that was obviously well tended but one twig stuck out.  It made me smile.  Nonconformist!  In just two gardens it seemed that I was being reminded of some great truths.  The beautiful display was a combination of many different plants, different formations of flowers, different sizes and colours but together making the garden a very pleasant place.  The hedge reminded me that even in creation, there are those things that don't always conform to what the majority are doing and that's ok.  Variety is accepted and tolerated.



It reminded me of the time I with my two sons were visiting family in Argentina (in 1999) and we went to visit one niece/cousin who met us at the airport with her husband and two daughters (the third daughter was born a few years later).  We went to a small cafe for something to eat and the youngest daughter Cata (Catalina) just couldn't sit still.  Her father kept saying, 'Cata, sit down.', 'Cata, don't do that.'  Eventually he asked, 'Cata, what do you want?'  Immediately, without even thinking about it, she replied in her childhood innocence, 'I want to misbehave.' Well, we didn't know whether to laugh or look away and ignore the comment.  Her father then explained that she couldn't misbehave here as other people wouldn't like it.  Of course, I'm not advocating we misbehave but how often children in all innocence question why they must conform to what other people expect of them.  She is now a lovely young lady who probably doesn't even remember that occasion.

Thank God, that He doesn't create clones!  Creation shows us that variety and difference go to make life beautiful and that we are all individuals who contribute to the success of the whole.  Even those who don't conform to what the majority want have a place and make life interesting, often bringing a different approach and way of seeing things.   All parents will vouch for the fact that all their children are different, each special in their own way.  It's when others don't always do things the way we like or insist on being just that bit different that we find it hard to accept.  Patience!  I'm working on it. 

   

Expectations

I wonder how many children yesterday received gifts that were on their wish list to Santa.  I suspect that most of them did.  I can imagine the excitement when opening their presents to see which items on their lists had become reality.  And I think that maybe somewhere there may be one or two who are a little disappointed when they discover that not all on their endless list has been granted.  After all there is a limit to how much parents can spend.  But it does mostly seem to be the case that what is asked for is received, with great anticipation, excitement and joy.  I'm sure we can all remember how difficult it was to go to sleep on Christmas Eve.  We just wanted the morning to be here so we could open our gifts and see if our hopes had been realised.

Of course as we get older, we (well most of us!) don't get quite so excited and are not quite as demanding in what we want to receive.  I'm happy to say that I didn't get anything that was not according to my taste or that I would find useful in some way.  They were all things that I had hoped for so I am one very happy lady today.


In ancient times, the Jewish nation had been promised a Saviour, a Messiah.  They hoped that a great leader would come and free them from the cruel rule of the occupying forces of the Roman empire.  A number of zealots had arisen, and fallen, in the past but they were still a nation that lived under oppression.  The might of Rome was too great for them to overcome.  A Deliverer had been promised and the people waited for many, many years.  

Not quite the mighty warrior the nation had hoped for.

When God did send a Deliverer, the Saviour, it wasn't in the form of a militant person, a sword brandishing warrior who would bring about an uprising against the Romans.  It was the opposite - a baby.  God certainly works in mysterious ways.  When Jesus claimed to have been sent by God and said that God was his Father, he was shunned by many.  How could this be the promised Messiah?  That wasn't what they had hoped for at all.  All that waiting, and for what?  Most Jews were indeed disappointed at the gift that God had given them and couldn't accept Jesus as the fulfilment of God's promise of a Deliverer..

We often have a wish list for God.  Sometimes when we pray it's almost as though we have a 'shopping list' that we reel off to him and expect him to answer our requests in the way that we want.  But God being God often does something quite different.  

Lord help me to see what it is that you want to give me.  Help me not to get disappointed when things don't happen in the way that I want but help me to see that through it all you want to show me your will and purpose for my life.  Thank you for the way that you have guided me and the things that you have shown me and taught me.  Help me never to underestimate that what I don't understand just might be exactly what I need.  Grant me wisdom and eyes to see your gifts for me.  So be it.

I'll Keep Asking

Anyone who has had children or been involved with the care of children will know just how inquisitive they can be.  The why, when, where, who, how questions seem to have no end.  You think you've explained things and then they come back with another 'Why?' or 'How?'.  This is normal behaviour for children and in fact if they didn't ask questions we would think that there was something wrong with them, that they were lacking something in their concentration, normal development or desire for learning.  


When they are small, a short, simple explanation is often sufficient to answer their curiosity but as they get older, such simple answers don't suffice.  They need to know more and in more detail.  This surely is a sign that they are maturing and becoming more capable of understanding more than they did when they were younger.


It baffles me, therefore when Christians get the strange idea that the same explanations and teaching that has been given to them from their first steps of faith are still sufficient.  They listen to the same Bible verses explained over and over again.  The fact that they don't question seems to be taken as some strange form of maturity, they know all the answers.  They might have a point in thinking that they have travelled so far along the road and have experienced so much that they have indeed 'seen it all' - been there, done that, got the t-shirt etc.  But there are occasions when it is actually frowned upon to question what has been said from the platform or pulpit.  It is considered almost sacrilege to ask a question like 'Why God?'.  We must not question those 'in authority' over us.  (Sounds like some dictatorships I've known)  They are there to speak to us on God's behalf!  We are told that God has his ways and we should just trust him.  We are so often fobbed off with the usual set answers to such queries that they sort of float over the tops of our heads.  The words don't seem to connect with us.  They become almost meaningless.


Yet Jesus tells us that we must be like children in our faith.  When he said that, did he mean that we should never be complacent?  That God likes curious children?  Can we ever know all there is to know about God and spiritual things?  Can we not keep on learning while we travel on this road of faith?  Maybe I'm just not the passive sort when it comes to my faith.  So I continue to question and seek more of what God means and says and how this unfolds in my life.  I want to know God more so I persist like a small child and keep asking him to connect with my spirit so I can grow and really mature in him.  The simple answers of old aren't enough any more - I need  more God.

Transformers

Turbo snail

I was looking for a Christmas gift for the small son of a nephew of mine.  There is so much to choose from!  I eventually found a book about an ordinary garden snail who dreamed of being fast and having adventures.  One day he had an accident with a vehicle on a busy road and then discovered that he had been transformed into Turbo.  He could now race along as quickly as other creatures.  The book continues describing some of the things he got up to.  

One of the many transformers

There are lots of toys that actually can be transformed into something else - transformers.  We all know the films that are so popular among children (and dare I say grown-ups also?)  They look like ordinary vehicles, a car, lorry, pick-up truck, helicopter or some other vehicle and drive around with their human friends.  Then when there is trouble they suddenly transform themselves into some life-saving, human- defender and protector and of course always save the day.  The thing about each of these examples is that there is no need for any add-on bits.  You only need what is already there to transform the toy from  an ordinary object into some super being.

Maybe as grown-ups we could take a lesson from the children.  We are always searching for something else.  We think that 'if only I had that opportunity' or 'I wish I were more like so-and-so'.  Paul, writing to the Romans says that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.  He didn't advocate that we go looking for add-ons.  The children sing a song, 'And I just thank you Father for making me me'.  Again the children teach us wisdom in their simplicity.

Ainsley Harriott with chefs and contestants

It reminded me of the programme that used to be so popular on TV - Ready, Steady Cook.  The competing chefs could use basic ingredients like eggs, milk, flour, herbs and spices but for the other ingredients, they were only allowed to use what the contestants had brought them.  They had to make some interesting, tasty and innovative meal with what they had been given.  They couldn't bring any hidden extras or their favourite special ingredients, just what had been handed to them.  Sometimes they apologized saying that with this or that extra ingredient they would have made such and such but they still managed to come up with a great dish that their contestant enjoyed.  I enjoyed watching the programme as it gave me some good ideas for something different but also, I think, helped people to realize that you could do something good just with what you already had.

The other day I watched Neil Diamond on TV and was struck by a song I hadn't heard before.  It is basically a love song but I couldn't help thinking of it as a worship song and singing it to God.  It's called The Art of Love: (Try thinking of God as 'she'.)

She said, it's time to teach you the art of love.
She said we're gonna reach to the heart of love.
A place you never knew,
A place that lives somewhere inside of you.

Neil Diamond

You made me see I'd have to be
A brand new man, he lives in me.
So here in me is where I began. 

You showed the kind of lesson I can't erase.
You showed a way to get from that lonely place
To where love comes alive
And you'd be waiting there when I arrived.

The truth was clear,
Love's not a place you go to find.
It lives in here, just leave it space, give it time.
I learned that I could stumble and maybe fall.
I learned in being humble I'd have it all.
A brand new way to live,

God makes each of us the unique person we are and transforms us not by adding bits on or taking bits off but by renewing what is deep inside.  God, who is true Love, lives inside of each of us.  We don't really need to go anywhere to look for Him.  He is already within  our innermost being.  We just need to look within and be transformed into the person He wants us to be.  We are the people we have been waiting for.  All we need is to look inside ourselves and go with what the spirit deep within us is saying.  Transformers, not by adding extras and becoming different people but to be the people He made us to be with what He already has given us.  Transformed and come alive by the power of His love that is inside. .  

The Way I See It

The two people were chatting while waiting at the bus stop when suddenly the younger one, focusing on a young girl passing by said in a low voice, 'Just look at that!  What a mess!  She looks awful!'  The older woman smiled and replied, 'When anyone criticizes what you wear, you always say that people should feel free to wear what they like.  So obviously she's wearing what she likes.'  The younger one conceded with a smile, saying that she wouldn't wear it but then she has a different fashion sense.  We might think someone looks nice or not because of what they are wearing, while they might see it differently.  As the saying goes, 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.  


On a less flippant note, my nephew's young son often likes to play at role reversal - his father/grandmother being him and he being them.  He really is rather good at remembering things that they have said or done and playing them back to them as he sees it, reliving situations and conversations.  It really is an eye-opener on just how he sees them and how he interprets what they say.  Children so often manage to encompass in their playing what sometimes goes unnoticed to us.  Things that we don't give a second thought about might come across to them as something they take notice of and remember sometimes in great detail to the point that we can wonder, 'Am I really like that? Is that how I said that?'.  Children have an innocence that penetrates through all social etiquette and niceties to reveal just how things really are, at least as they appear to them.


We all see things differently, simply because we are all different, unique.  We cherish our uniqueness yet at the same time struggle to accept another person's different approach and opinion.  Often when someone says, 'The way I see it ...' they really mean that they think the other person is wrong and they will tell them exactly how it is and what is the right way.  We can become quite intolerant of those who don't do or think as we do, thinking smugly, 'They really don't have a clue and they are just so wrong'.  There is a built-in sort of arrogance that we can't be wrong, it must be them.  Is there not just a possibility that both are right - in their own eyes?  It all depends on how you see things.  This often can depend on your circumstances, your cultural background, your emotions and feelings at a given moment.  It seems strange that restaurants. shops, the entertainment business and so on cater for our different views and tastes in food, clothing, holidays, home decor, hobbies/interests and TV viewing so why, oh why, is it so difficult for us to accept that people just might have a different spiritual opinion from us?  When it comes to God, it seems, we are always and totally right as though somehow we are in the privileged position of having a monopoly of the truth!


I remember one holiday in Scotland when we climbed up a hill through some woodland.  Every so often there was a gap in the trees and a seat where you could rest awhile and take in the scenery.  What we discovered was that we saw different things at different stopping points.  Some objects became hidden from view while others became clearer.  The overall picture was constantly changing depending on where we were on the hill.  That has always remained with me over the years as an important life lesson.  People are different, each one unique, as we so often like to say.  So why is it so hard to accept another's point of view, another way of looking at things, another angle, another's belief system or spiritual leaning?  God has an overall view while, as the apostle Paul says, we only see in part.  In the same passage, Paul says that as a child he thought and acted in a certain way but as he grew, his thoughts changed.  We are constantly changing as our view on life changes, as we experience different situations. 

So let's show a little more tolerance and acceptance of others.  At least, that's the way I see it. (Maybe someone will tell me I'm wrong!).   

Live Now

This week my nephew shared on Facebook a photo of his 4 year old son, Oliver looking very smart and all grown-up in his new school uniform ready for when he starts school in September.  Time seems to have just whizzed by since he was born.  I remember holding him when he was only a few days old.  He was so tiny and fragile and now suddenly he's off to school!  His first tooth, his first step, his first word are all now just memories.  He now chats away and absorbs new information all the time.  He seems to know things about how things work and which button to press, things that take me a while to assimilate.  On seeing his photo, many memories came back of my own children also and how each precious moment soon becomes a memory.  It was a sharp reminder for me to cherish the present and live now to the full. 



Of course not all memories are so pleasurable.  Some leave scars and hurt but all are incorporated and woven into the tapestry of our lives and go to make us the people we now are today.  I wouldn't be the person I now am if I hadn't had the rough as well as the smooth.  But all experiences good or not so good can leave us some worthwhile lesson.  You never really learn patience if you've never had to wait for anything.  You don't learn about hope until you feel down.  Having to live without something helps us to learn the real value and appreciate what we do have.  Remembering the past is not really the problem.  The real problem is when we keep dragging the past into the present.  What has gone cannot be changed.  It has contributed to who we are today so be thankful for it and let it go.  All we have is the now.  That is why we need to enjoy the now to the full because it will soon become another memory. 


There are those who are always hankering after some future excitement or big thing.  They spend time (and often a lot of money) going from one big conference or gathering to another and totally miss the point that God is right where we are, here and now.  We don't need to go looking for him, hoping that if we can get to that big meeting, He'll show up and bless us.  We are the temple of God and He resides in us.  Where we are, He is.  Not everyone can write like J K Rowling or J R R Tolkien.  Only a few people have actually reached the moon.  It would be a dysfunctional business if all the staff were managing directors.  Who would actually make the goods or clean the premises?  It is good to have dreams and ambitions but some miss so much because their minds are on something else, always striving.  Wherever we are and whatever we do in life, God is in us and shows Himself to others through us.  Theodore Roosevelt gave some very sound advice when he said, 'Do what you can with what you have where you are'.

Today is a gift - use it and fill it so that  tomorrow you will have beautiful memories.  Look around you whatever your circumstances and find something to make you smile.  Our children may be grown and left home already, or maybe you don't have any.  You can still fill your today in such a way that in the future you can look back and smile.  God's will is for us to live life to the full.  Here's to a future full of happy memories.

Little By Little

In this day and age of instant living it is easy to want instant results with everything.  You only need to walk around the supermarket to realize that many foods are pretty much instant - just add water and mix; put in microwave on maximum power for 3 minutes;  pour on boiling water and leave for 2 minutes; mix with water or milk and microwave for 1 and a half minutes etc. ... ... This also spills over into the world of technology.  Do you remember when we used to have to wait about 5 minutes for the computer to get going before we could actually do anything with it?  Nowadays so much of life is simply press a button and 'Hey presto' - result!  So it's good to remind ourselves that much of life is not really like that.

Peas appearing.

In the beginning ... it took God six stages of creation to make the world, the length of a stage depending on whether you lean to the side of creationism or evolution.  However you view the story, it was not done instantaneously.  And those who do any gardening will appreciate this fact when you need to plan your year according to whether it's time to sow seeds or harvest the produce.  This week, after having sown quite a bit in March, I have seen the first signs of peas and carrots growing, while other things have yet to make an appearance.  We wait and we keep looking and hoping that we did everything right so in time it will happen.  Some things take a little longer than others.


We don't expect children to suddenly overnight be able to walk and talk.  These things take time.  That's why there is such joy when a child utters its first word, takes its first step, gets its first tooth.  Each first in a child's life is an indication of growing, slowly but surely.  So it saddens me when new Christians are suddenly thrown in at the deep end and expected to just know all the rules, what they are expected to do or say, or not as the case may be.  There is often so little tolerance shown to anyone who doesn't immediately conform.  We are all on a journey and are at different points on that journey.  How many of us have children who constantly asked during a journey, 'Are we there yet?' Little by little, bit by bit we are learning what God wants to do with our lives and that is different for everyone.  What He wants of me is not the same as what He wants from you who may be reading this.  So it baffles me just why all who say they are Christians are expected to be and do the same.  We are not a string of sausages, uniform and identical!  


God made us all different and wants us to be different.  We don't all have to dance to the same tune (or worship song).  He wants us to evolve and go forward as individuals.  That's why it's ok when we don't want to do some of the things we used to do, we have moved on to another phase on our journey - growing and learning, little by little.  Sadly many who have stopped conforming are viewed as having left the pack as it were, gone astray when all we are doing is seeking a more personal, individual relationship with the Father.  Our life journey is just that - a journey throughout our lives and it takes a lifetime to evolve our way through it, growing and learning a bit at a time, changing, rethinking, questioning and learning through our lifetime experiences. A child learns by its mistakes and falls but also by asking questions.  Which parent has not tired at some point because of the apparent incessant questions of 'Why?', 'How?'.  So why not ask God questions about things that we don't understand?  We cannot know it all (although some think they do!).  I am not at the same point in my journey as I was 10 years ago or even one year ago - I keep learning, growing and moving little by little.

Christmas Through the Eyes of a Child

During this advent season I am thinking of how different people view the whole nativity story.  The first one is through the eyes of a child. 

I have to admit that I am a great aunty to the most lovable 3 year old.  The other Saturday I had the privilege of accompanying him and his father, my nephew Darren and grandma Marilyn, my sister.  We went to see the Christmas decorations at the local garden centre Brimsmore.  We walked into the store and immediately young Oliver's eyes were taken by all the lights and sparkly things.  He just stood and said 'WOW!'  All the way around he kept uttering the word 'wow'.  He loved the animals that moved and all the decorations and of course the toy train layout featuring Ivor the Engine and his friends.  All the magic of the moment seemed to explode into his mind and only one word could sum it all up - wow! 

For a young child of 3, everything catches the eye, almost to the point of being overwhelming.  He loves looking at everything and touching if he is allowed to.  His little mind is in overdrive as he tries to assess all that is around him and the limited vocabulary of a toddler is not adequate to put into words what he is thinking and the emotions that it all conjures up.  And so  'wow' is all he can come out with.  We often hear Christmas being referred to as a time for children, maybe because of their sense of wonder at it all.  As we get older we lose some of that sense of wonder.  How often do we hear an adult refer to Christmas as 'wow'?  Probably never.  Sadly in maturing and growing up we all lose some of that childlike sense of wonder and awe.  It's like we've heard it and seen it all before.  We become blasé about it and so think of Christmas as a time for the children who see everything as new and fresh.

Jesus says that we should be like children before God.  To think of God being willing to limit himself in human form and come as a helpless baby dependant on his parents for everything - this God who created all things from nothing and yet laying aside all such power that when he speaks universes come into being, and becoming totally dependent instead of the Almighty, limited to one place instead of being everywhere - how can we not be filled with amazement and wonder.  This servant king evokes such emotions that we cannot find the words to express and in worship we just stand and say 'Wow'.  I want to drink in again the wonder of it all as a child.  WOW, God loves me that much!

. 

Honesty

Every other weekend my nephew has the pleasure of having his lovely 3 year old son to stay with him and his mother at their home.  Oliver is a typical 3 year old, full of curiosity and the innocence of a child becoming aware of new experiences daily.  You can almost see his little brain working as he processes new things, growing and learning with each new encounter.  He always enjoys his food as the photo clearly shows - he is in ecstasy enjoying the delights of some chocolate cake.  He especially likes vegetables - not always so common in small children.  His Grandma (my sister) had made a lovely rice pudding to have after dinner.  Oliver tried a spoonful and then just sat looking at it, not wanting to eat any more.  His Dad, Darren, told him, 'well tell Grandma what you want then Oliver', to which he replied, 'I want pudding ... ... a nice one!'  Aahh!!    The honesty of children.  There was no real problem with the rice pudding - the granddaughter enjoyed it and others ate it but Oliver just didn't like it.  I guess that goes for most of life -  we are all so different, some liking some things while others not. 

A day out at the zoo with Grandma.

What I liked about this anecdote when I heard it was the fact that Oliver felt so comfortable and safe in his relationship with his dad and grandma that he didn't have a problem in saying exactly what he wanted.  He wasn't afraid that maybe if he said the wrong thing that he would be told off or punished.  He loves spending time at their home and has no problem when his mother leaves him there.  And yet how often when we talk with Father God do we choose our words carefully; we seem to use a special 'God/prayer' language; some words we wouldn't dream of using, even if we use them frequently in daily conversation with others.  It's as though we feel we need to be on our best behaviour - after all we want to make a good impression and not give God the wrong idea  - as though He didn't already know exactly what we're like.  It really is ok to tell God how we really feel - He's big enough.  He can take it!  When Jesus says we must be as little children, I like to think that includes their openness and honesty.  And there's a lot to be said for being so comfortable and safe in our relationship with Him that saying it as it really is, isn't a problem.

I also saw this picture on a friend's status on Facebook this week.  It was actually an article about a newspaper (not in the UK) saying how it distorts things and ends up telling untruths.  I found it a very powerful illustration of how we can so easily get caught up in one part of our Christian living, focussing on a few, specially chosen verses of the Bible instead of looking at the whole picture.  The danger about homing in on one particular aspect (say sexuality, worship, creation, end times ...) is that we lose sight of the bigger picture of God.  These things have their place but are only part of the big picture.  Again I think it's about being honest to God, ourselves and each other about how we really feel and think and not just what we have been told or feel we ought to comply with in order to fit in with our particular congregation.  I think that feeling comfortable with being really honest also applies to the Christian family we choose to be part of.  Let's not distort the good news of God's gospel by focussing on only one small part of it and maybe giving a totally erroneous idea.

We think that we are teaching our children but actually they are teaching us - quite a lot if we let them.